Shit Show Bingo: How to Gamify Hard Stuff and Win Either Way
Some life events come with a dress code. Others come with a warning label.
You know the ones:
Visiting family for the holidays
A weekend with the in-laws
Traveling with kids
A wedding where certain people are invited
A “relaxing” family vacation
Any gathering where someone says, “Let’s just have a drama-free day.”
Sometimes you already know chaos, annoyance, awkwardness, or disappointment is headed your way. And honestly? Pretending otherwise does not help. That’s where Shit Show Bingo comes in.
How Shit Show Bingo Was Born
This idea came up spontaneously in a therapy session. A client was navigating an especially intense chapter of family dynamics. Each week they’d come in and unpack the latest chaos. We were preparing for one specific upcoming event that already felt doomed.
So I said: “You should make a Shit Show Bingo card.” I told them to sit down with their partner and brainstorm every ridiculous, predictable, frustrating thing that might happen.
Who shows up late?
Who starts drama?
Who makes it about themselves?
Who gets offended over nothing?
Who drinks too much?
Who asks invasive questions?
Who says something so unhinged everyone goes silent?
Who fake-smiles while clearly raging?
They could share one card or compete individually. The client came back the next session laughing because they didn’t get a bingo.
And that’s when it clicked:
They had gone from dreading the event…to being curious about it. They had shifted from helpless anticipation to playful observation.
Why Shit Show Bingo Works
When we expect something to be magical and it’s mediocre, we suffer. When we expect emotionally immature people to suddenly become enlightened because it’s Christmas, we suffer. When we expect children to appreciate the expensive vacation we planned for them in the same way adults would…you guessed it, we suffer.
Shit Show Bingo works because it helps align your expectations more closely to reality. This isn’t about being bitter or cynical, it’s about shifting your perspective. Using humor doesn’t erase stress, but it can loosen stress’s grip.
Some Examples I’ve Seen Help
The In-Laws
You and your partner have said at least 4,000 times that you’re not having kids. Yet every visit someone inevitably says, “So…when are you two finally going to start a family?”
Normally, this would make you want to dig your eyes out with a spoon. But if it’s on the bingo card? You almost look forward to it. There’s almost a weird thrill.
Like: Come on, Carol. Ask the question. Daddy needs a diagonal.
And if she doesn’t ask? Fuck yeah. Amazing. Growth. Healing. Miracles happen. Either way, you win.
Family Vacation with Kids
You booked the trip. Packed the bags. Paid too much money. Brought all the snacks.
And within 14 minutes:
“This is boring.”
“I’m hungry.”
“Why do we have to walk?”
“Their hotel has a bigger pool.”
“I wanted the blue Gatorade.”
Normally, this can feel enraging. But if “complains despite being catered to like royalty” is on the card? Hell yeah, give yourself a silent high five, and cross it off. Now you’re not personally offended (or at least a little less annoyed). And you are one square closer to winning.
What This Actually Teaches
Under the humor is a real skill:
1. Manage Expectations
Disappointment hits hardest when you expected nonsense people to act sensibly.
2. Reduce Personalization
Not every annoying behavior is a personal attack. This takes the story out of your head and onto the bingo card, so the loud exhale from across the room just means a square gets crossed off!
3. Create Emotional Distance
Instead of drowning in the moment, you step back and observe it. That tiny bit of distance can save your sanity.
4. Find Humor Without Denial
We’re not pretending hard things are easy. We’re refusing to let them ruin everything.
Rules for Healthy Use
This is important. This is a coping tool, not a cruelty tool. The goal is not mocking people or escalating conflict.
The goal is to stay regulated in situations that are predictably irritating.
Use it privately or only with safe people who get the joke. Do not announce at dinner: “Yes! Uncle Dave said something inappropriate. That’s a Shit Show Bingo Blackout!”
Make Your Own Card
Think of the event and ask: What always happens here? Or, what am I dreading most?
Then fill the squares. Some examples:
Family Gathering
invasive question
weird political comment
passive aggressive compliment
someone storms off
awkward silence
old feud referenced
Travel with Kids
someone hates the food
bathroom emergency
sibling fight
lost stuffed animal
“are we there yet?”
complaint about literally everything
Work Event
pointless icebreaker
person dominates conversation
tech issue
fake enthusiasm
someone says “let’s circle back”
Center square: This is the one you are certain will happen.
In the beginning, starting small might be helpful. You don’t need to have the perfect bingo card, or enough ‘what if’s’ to fill out an entire 5×5 card. I’ve played with just mentioning 3 things that I thought might happen and that was enough to lighten the mood. Here’s a link to an example card for a road trip with kids, and a blank card that you can fill out on your own.
Final Thoughts
Sometimes healing looks profound. Sometimes healing looks like boundaries, tears, and deep insight. And sometimes healing looks like quietly crossing off a square while your mother-in-law asks the exact invasive question you knew was coming.
Don’t underestimate humor. Don’t underestimate realistic expectations. And don’t underestimate the peace that comes from saying: This may be a shit show…but I came prepared.
If this resonates with you - if you’re feeling stretched thin, overwhelmed, or just ready to start putting yourself first - you don’t have to figure it out alone. This is the work I do. Real talk with actionable help (that usually comes with a bit of snark and a touch of humor). Whether you’re looking for deeper support or just a place to start, I’d love to connect. You can see what I’m about, book a consult, or reach out anytime.
Until next time, keep putting your oxygen mask on first.
